Liar, liar

I must be some kind of impressive liar! I was tapped for the Bald Faced Liar "Creative Writer" Blogger Award TWICE, once by Marisa Birns at Out of Order Alice and again by Laura Eno at A Shift in Dimensions. Thanks, guys!

The rules for the award are simple:
1. Thank the person who gave this to you.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth - or - switch it around and tell six outrageous truths and one outrageous lie.
5. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.

Seven things about me, six lies and one truth:

1. During my brief stint with the U.S. Navy, I served on the USS Chicago, a nuclear attack submarine.
2. During my brief stint with the Michigan Legislature, I represented the city of Petoskey (Leelanau County) for a single term.
3. During my brief stint with Milan's La Scala ballet company, I danced Swan Lake.
4. During my brief stint with NASA, I once worked on the space shuttle Columbia (while it was on the ground).
5. During my brief stint with the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago, I helped treat a constipated jaguarundi.
6. During my brief stint with a fertility clinic, I was invited to contribute a sample to the sperm bank (I declined).
7. During my brief stint with the St. Louis Cardinals organization, I had the opportunity to try to hit a ground ball past shortstop Ozzy Smith, future Baseball Hall of Famer whose career stats would include thirteen Golden Gloves. (I hit a short hopper toward second base, which Ozzy fielded easily.)

Which one of these is the truth?

And now, in a big twist, instead of nominating seven deserving people who make stuff up creative writers, I'm going to invite you, the reader, to do so.

Leave a comment with a name and a link, and I'll gather them all up at some point in a future blog post as a big, fat liars convention an honor roll of creativity. At that time, I will also disclose which of these seven items above is the truth.


  1. Good lies, good lies. I'm guessing 7 but the first one is mighty believable as well.

  2. I don't think there is a USS Chicago, unless it is in Lake Michigan.

    You can't represent a city in the Legislature.

    Don't think you danced ballet, or worked at NASA

    So,hmmm...let me see - the jaguarundi looks like a cat, and they get hairballs, so he could-of gotten constipated - very likely

    I'm sure you probably were to give samples at a fertility clinic due to your good looks and infamous charm-but I don't think you worked there.

    so, I think #7 is true, that fits you, but then again, you give a lot of details, so maybe you are trying to deceive us.

    Gee, you are a tough nut to crack.

    Did I decide? I don't remember. These are really GOOD!

    I think most I know have been through this fun/torchure-

    But wait, here is a good one - let's get Marc Nash in on this -

  3. What the hell...I'll let Jezebel pick. She says that #3 is true. :)

    I'm not picking anyone for you to give this to. That's your hot potato!

  4. It's got to be #1. I could see you in a submarine!

  5. And the truth is...

    #3, my dancing in Swan Lake with Milan's La Scala ballet company.

    In 1986, the company was doing a tour in the U.S., including seven performances in St. Louis, where I grew up. I was in high school at the time and was a serious drama geek. You know those kids in "Glee"? That was me - acted, sang & danced in every show my school put on.

    Our H.S. director worked a summer job at the theater where La Scala was going to perform. He gave me and several of my classmates the opportunity to fill out the stage for some of the larger crowd scenes.

    We had a 5 hour rehearsal off-site with the advance team to learn the choreography and polish our steps, and then another 5 hour rehearsal at the theater with the corps de ballet to work out the costume changes and timing.

    My job was twofold: dance well enough to be smooth & unobtrusive in moving from mark to mark, and perform my steps in place in between transitions so as not to distract from the real dancers in center stage.

    In my two scenes, I was an innkeeper and a palace guard. I did seven performances in front of an audience of ~9000 people each night.

    So... surprised?

  6. What fun!

    Too bad I've been so honest on my blog - people would be able to catch my lies.

    Or have I? And would they?

    This will be my Feb.20th post. You might want to read up in advance so you think you know what I'm about. I promise you, I'm a great liar. Or maybe I'm not. ;-)

  7. See? Jezebel knew that you had culture.

  8. Let's see how do you spell flabergasted?????

    Photos, I want photos.....

  9. I LOVE it!!! No wonder you write so well, you are a very interesting character yourself!

    I agree with Karen--photos, we need photos!

  10. Surprised? Absolutely! I things it's great. I'm with Karen and G.P. -- pictures are in order : ).

  11. Laura - Jezebel knew Tony would look good in tights :)


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