#FridayFlash: Candice on the couch

HI MY NAME IS Candice: Candice on the couch

by Tony Noland


Christopher watched Candice as she laughed. He was utterly taken by the way she gave herself over to the laughter, the way she threw her head back and put a hand on her stomach as she shook with it. “Ghostbusters” was one of his favorite movies, and he’d bought it on VHS, then DVD, then the widescreen version on HD-DVD and again on Blu-Ray. He could quote practically the whole thing, line for line.

Candice had never seen it. When she laughed out loud when Venkman shocked the guy in the psych experiment, Christopher’s own laugh had been more in nervous relief. All the best bits, so familiar to him that he only smiled at them when he rewatched it alone, were cracking Candice up completely. Venkman getting slimed, Ray sliding down the firepole, Egon saying “it would be bad”… they were only halfway in, and she loved the movie.

She loved “Ghostbusters”. Incredible.

He turned his eyes back to the screen and sipped his Jack and Coke. Actually, it was Maker’s Mark and Coke Zero; it wasn’t half bad, even though it was mixed much more stiffly than he usually drank. Candice had rolled her eyes when he offered her a glass of wine with dinner. Fortunately, she’d done it before he’d had a chance to casually mention that he recently secured a case of Frog’s Leap Cabernet from 2002, and at a very good price. He felt liked he’d dodged a bullet. The fact that he didn’t have any Jack Daniels prompted another eyeroll. When he said he didn’t have any Coke either, because he only drank Coke Zero, she crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at him.

“Yes,” she said. “I know.”

He’d paused, a frozen microwave dinner in each hand. The moment stretched, held, then broke when her lips twitched upward into a hint of a smile.

“Yeah, well, I’m almost out, though. I was going to pick up some more today, but… something happened.”
She smiled a bit more. He smiled back, and soon they were both laughing.

Now, as he sipped his second drink, he watched her laugh, sitting over on the couch, wearing his Yale sweatshirt and a pair of his gym shorts. It all felt surreal… not in the Dadaist, “conceptual art” sense, but more like “how the hell did I get here”. Or maybe “this is a scene from someone else’s life”. As he thought about it, this marked the first time in more than ten years he had watched “Ghostbusters” with anyone, and the first time he had ever watched it with a girl – woman! – in his living room.

Back in the grocery store, he’d tried to say something, anything to her, but she was so angry she wouldn’t listen. Standing amid the gathered crowd, soaked in soda pop, her eye inflamed, she was like an angry elemental, one of the ancient Greek furies. The manager, a bony woman with frizzy, bright red hair, was quick to tell Candice to let go of his shirt and to calm down, which made her even more angry. The turning point came when the manager apologized to him for Candice’s “atrocious” behavior, and then snapped at Candice to apologize as well.

Before she could respond, Christopher blurted out, “Are you kidding? I don’t blame her a bit!” Whatever Candice had been about to say, she bit it off and stood silently fuming. Everything moved fast after that. The manager told her to go home, and to be sure to clock out.

Candice yelling at him in the parking lot, making sure he knew that she not only had lost almost an entire shift’s pay thanks to him, she now had to stand in a chilly, windy evening for an hour to catch the next bus home, only so she could listen to her snotty roommate laugh at her sorry state.

His apology had evolved from an offer to pay for dry cleaning of her clothes, to an offer of a ride home, a place to clean up before she went home, as he did not live far from the store. She was angry and vengeful, and had accepted everything he’d offered and demanded more. It was only after they’d pulled up at his house that the actual logistics of it all became more real.

Yes, a chance to “clean up before she went home” was fine, but what did that mean? Once they were in the house, it was clear that just giving her some clean clothes wasn’t enough. Soaked and sticky, from her hair to her shoes, what she needed was a shower. As bizarre as it felt, he got her a towel and some clothes to wear while he ran her clothes through the washer and dryer.

It all blurred together in his memory, how one thing had led to another. Her coming out with damp hair, her face clean of makeup, her brown eyes unadorned, the left one still bloodshot. Standing in the kitchen, barefoot and in his oversized clothes, she looked younger. She also would have looked more innocent and somehow sweet if she had not looked so defiant. It was then that he realized that throughout it all, she had never seemed humiliated or embarrassed. If someone had spilled a bunch of soda pop on him in a public place, Christopher knew he would have wanted to sink into the earth forever. He never got that sense from her, not in the store, not in the kitchen, not when she was looking over his DVD collection while waiting for dinner to cook.

He had an insane urge to ask her how she did it, how she was so self-possessed. Instead, he sipped his drink, watched her laugh at the Stay-Puft marshmallow man and wondered what he was going to say when the movie was over.

===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.

UPDATE: Read my author's discussion of this story.


  1. The brilliant part of both of these is that both parts stand alone as complete works by themselves.

    But I really didn't see this coming after the end of the first one...


  2. part 1 is seething sexual undercurrent and part 2 is his thing for "Ghostbusters"? I just felt the balance of this was slightly out of kilter, as it cranks up once again towards the end.

    Marc Nash

  3. I'm with Michael, I'd have never expected this as a follow-up! Sounds like things are smoothing over a little though… and you *did* do a good job of moving them along. His "I don't blame her a bit" was either sincere or THE most inspired pickup line ever.

  4. I have no doubt that he will find a way to thoroughly mess it up :-)

  5. I'm trying to imagine Candace's reaction to "Frog's Leap Cabernet" ... LOL.

    Poor guy; for all his seeming outward sophistication, he's only about a half-step up from the guy living on pizza in his mom's basement, socially speaking.

    Good work, Tony.

  6. Yay! You're back! I'm not.

    Good stuff here, she's so cold and I love that chill coming off the page. Me thinks she needs a stronger man. Peace...

  7. Fine little story, Tony. I know what I'd like him to say when the movie is over. Well done, as usual.

  8. After the way the last one ended, I wouldn't have expected this. I am thinking she is using him.

  9. Sounds like Christopher is in with a chance! Or is Candice just going to make him pay?.....

    Nice story!

    Helen from helen-scribbles.com

  10. Oh that's a lovely story...I love the tentativeness of his feelings and what to do. Hope she'll help him out!

  11. It may be every single bloke's dream to have a lovely lady in his lounge wearing his easy-wear whilst her clothes go through his washer dryer BUT I suspect Candice is a real bunny-boiler. You might say: anyone who digs 'Ghostbusters' can't be that bad ... to which I would suggest anyone who missed it first time round, Back in the Day is a bit wrong and we return full-circle to my bunny-boiler hypothesis.

  12. This is getting more and more interesting, Tony! I just read the two episodes and I can't wait to see how he's going to ask his questions (if he will) and how things are turning up. Is this a serial, by chance? I'm hooked!

  13. In it's own right I liked this story a lot. It feels very authentic. However in the context of the original story it seems a bit disconnected or maybe it's just mixed signals on my part.

    In regards to Jason's comment it seems even worse if you consider the possibility that she was perhaps too young to appreciate it "back in the day." The original was made in 1984.

  14. Very good, but I'm not sure I get it. Nobody died? Am I missing something?

  15. A nice voice here that builds stronger as the piece moves on. It did feel realistic without feeling dry. Does that make it authentically moist???

    Looking forward to more.


  16. I like this experiment, Tony. I didn't see this development coming from Part 1 so that made it more fun to read. Leaving him wondering what to say next was a great ending.

  17. I agree with Mr. Tate that this could stand alone. It'd be a little flimsy for anyone who wasn't a romantic, but screw people who aren't romantics. I'm a softy. The mix of her actually liking this movie and his sundered infatuation is highly winning. I didn't miss the sexual undercurrents at all.

  18. I'm so glad you continued this one. His insecurities are so well developed. On one side your heart goes out to him, on the other side you want to tell him to get his act together. Great job!

  19. Oh man, he needs to get out of his own way! He is so hung up on all the appearances of his life, he's in real risk of actually not living it.

    And there remains the possibility that Candice will kill him!

    Excellent look into this guy's head again, Tony. There's a decent guy here. His instincts are good, but he's absorbed so much of this stuff about how life (his in particular) should be that he's having trouble just being.

    I don't know if he's ever going to be able to handle (deal with, as Christopher would correct himself) Candice.

  20. This is great. Love the detail of having to swallow what is someone else's idea of a drink. Also, the worry that someone won't enjoy your favourite film of all time. I went through this particular emotion with my Almodovar collection. I'm still allowed to watch them. Alone.


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