Here are some easy substitution phrases for you to use when next faced with a "situation":
| Don't say... |
Instead, say... |
| Do I know you? |
I'm afraid I can't recall our last meeting. |
| Why are you asking me to do this? |
I'm flattered that you think I can help you. |
| This sounds like a waste of my time. |
I wouldn't be able to give this my full attention. |
| You are crazy for taking this on. |
You certainly have a passion for this project. |
| Fuck you. Pay me. |
I've had to prioritize my paid and non-paid work. |
| No one is ever going to read this or care about it. |
What did your market research tell you? |
| Why would I work with you? You're an asshole! |
I really think our working styles are incompatible. |
| You're not my boss. |
How are things over in your chain of command? |
| You think I'm stupid enough to do all the work... |
This division of labor wouldn't work for me... |
| ...and leave you to take all the credit. |
...but at least the feather will be in YOUR cap. |
| Don't ever ask me to do this kind of thing again. |
I still have fond memories of when I used to do this. |
| Get the fuck out of my office. |
Thanks for stopping by! |
Ah, I'll have to pin this one to my cube wall!
ReplyDeleteI remember a different list that went around years ago. The one I remember was, Don't Say: "Wanna step outside and say that?" Instead, say: "Let's take this offline."