Death of the Cowboy

Death of the Cowboy

by Tony Noland

The stranger walked up to the brunette behind the counter, trail dust sifting down from his worn leather chaps. She was a pretty little thing - skinny, but soft-looking and painted like Saturday night in Topeka. He hitched himself forward and laid an elbow down, pushing up the brim of his stained, sun-faded Stetson.

Without looking up, the brunette said, "Not interested," and went about her business.

The bright July sunlight slanted through the dirty windows, giving everything a glow that, a few minutes ago, looked warm and inviting. Now it looked jaundiced and sickly to the stranger's eye.

"Well, ma'am, you ain't even given me a chance to introduce myself."

"Don't bother. I've got no use for cowboys."

He smiled, putting on his best gap-toothed grin. His smile was probably his biggest asset when it came to tumbling reluctant gals, and he knew it. "Is that a fact? And if it happens that I ain't your usual kinda cowboy? How's about then?"

She finally looked up. For a moment, he thought he had her. Then she rolled her eyes, pointed at the door and said, "Goodbye, cowboy. Not interested." She went back to work, leaving him with his sun-faded Stetson, his gap-toothed grin and a sinking heart.

After a moment, he let the grin fade to a grimace. He bit the inside of his cheek, swallowing the words he wanted to spit out at her.

Little Miss Priss, he thought, just like all the others. Won't even give a fella a chance.

The anger and resentment boiled up within him. Had he snuck across Apache territory carrying $40,000 in stolen Spanish gold for this? Had he rescued the Governor's kidnapped daughter and protected her honor against the enraged McCloskey gang for this? Had he rallied the defenders of San Cristobal and driven off the corrupt, murdering Mexican army... for this?

"Why?"

The brunette put down her pen and looked up, exasperated. "Why what? Why are you still here? I have no idea."

"No, I mean why won't you even talk to me? Give me a chance to tell you about myself, about the things I've done."

"Because I. Don't. Care. That's why. Are you stupid, cowboy?" She stood and waved. "Look around you. What do you see? Do you see any cowboys in here?"

He turned. Some of the people standing in the room were obviously in couples: an antebellum blonde and a handsome, arrogant-looking Union army captain; a corseted baronet's daughter and a handsome, disreputable-looking pirate; a slim woman in a simple sundress and a handsome, wounded-looking man in a dark, tailored suit. They all looked flushed and wound up, as though they were ready to have sparks fly at the drop of a hat.

However, most of the people were alone: pale, good-looking vampires; dark, good-looking werewolves; regular-looking folks carrying magic wands they didn't seem to know how to use right; aliens, spacemen and a few people in Victorian wool-and-velvet garb adorned with gears, cogs and glowing tubes. He even saw two caped superheroes standing in the corner looking self-conscious.

But no other cowboys. He was the only one.

"Don't you get it?" the woman behind the counter said. "Nobody wants cowboys anymore. We don't accept Westerns. Can't sell them. Get it?" She pointed to the door again. "Door. Cowboy opens door. Cowboy goes through door. Cowboy closes door. Cowboy go bye-bye." Blowing out her breath, she sat back down and picked up her pen.

The other people in the room were pretending not to have seen or heard. They just stood and waited, probably dreading their turn at the slush desk as much as he had.

They don't want to blow their shot,
the cowboy thought. But what about me? I'm just as interesting as them... aren't I?

He turned back to the brunette. "But I've been all over this town. Who does take Westerns? Isn't there anybody who wants cowboys?"

"Your problem, pal. Not mine. There's the door. Don't come back."

It was over. The cowboy stepped back, straightened up and turned away from the desk. Holding his head as high as he could, he walked slowly toward the door, still a cowboy, still a stranger, and still alone.

===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.

38 comments:

  1. Well, you have to hand it to the cowboy (and I don't mean his @$$): at least he bellied up to the bar and gave it his best. Clever little twist!

    Still and all, I think the cowboy went to the wrong bar. I'll bet there's a place in the wide Internet prairie where he could get a hearing. He should mosey over to that Google fella and say, "online Western fiction."

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    1. It's tough to be a cowboy these days, even when your writer-creator has plenty of Google-fu.

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  2. You nailed the voice for this one. The one-liners had me smiling too. I hope your cowboy tries Larry's advice. :)

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    1. My cowboy has been looking for a home for a while now. He'll keep looking.

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  3. That show biz for you, very fickle! This had me smiling too.

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  4. Hilarious, and as well written as always.

    I just wrote and recorded my first western-themed flash for National Flash Fiction Day on Tues/Wed (time zones!) though, so this makes me just a little bit sad!

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    1. Thanks, Cathy! It's fun to sink into a Western mode, isn't it?

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  5. I love how the tone didn't break even after the reveal.

    I don't know -- to me, Westerns are picking up again, although usually blended with another genre ('cos the genre walls are falling down, down, down). Gemma Files here in Toronto writes crazy-good horror/magic Westerns. That cowboy should go get himself bit by one of those vampires and steal one of the magic folk's wands.

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    1. I tried to keep the feeling the same throughout - I'm glad it worked for you!

      I see lots of calls for western horror, dark western, western fantasy... but no classic western. Not an easy sell. I suppose I could have my cowboy uncover a bevvy of vampires, or get himself cursed with some dreaded ancient evil, but that's not really how I want this story to run.

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  6. Maybe it's that I hadn't read a Western in a while, but even the exposition like the gold smuggling was immensely amusing to me. Good work, Tony!

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  7. Really good feel to this, Tony, and a solid, consistent character. Clever without being too pretentious. Nice one. =)

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    1. "Clever without being too pretentious."

      I might have to quote that!

      ;-)

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  8. I genuinely didn't see the reveal coming, so I really enjoyed this. He'd certainly find a home in a place near me, Brean, where I often see groups of dames and cowboys moseying up and down the seafront! Amusing stuff, Tony.

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  9. Maybe it's just the mood I'm in today, but this was sad, not funny. Poor guy. Not everyone's given up on Westerns; if my husband read fiction, that's what he'd read, that and war novels. Nice twist, too. At first, I thought he was at a wax museum, hoping to become an exhibit.

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    1. There's a real tragedy underlying the surface humor. This is a guy whose world is long gone, and whose celebrated exploits are of interest to no one anymore.

      He's passed out of life into legend, out of legend into mythology, and out of mythology into obscurity.

      Sad.

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  10. Good story, but you'll make Icy sad.

    I guessed the twist but I don't think that mattered. Some nice bits of description too, especially liked the changing sunlight.

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    1. Thanks, Peter. Icy and I have discussed the challenges of selling western fiction. I half had her in mind as I wrote this.

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  11. Man, can I relate to this. Seems like everyone wants historical fiction so long as there are no trails or wagons in sight.

    Send him this way. He can hang out with my bounty hunter.

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    1. Marshal Justification Thyme has led an interesting life. I'd hate to see him disappear forever into a desk drawer.

      He and Grey can go hunt outlaws together sometime.

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  12. From the very start (Saturday night in Topeka) you had me tuned in to the genre and I found myself reading it like I was in Texas! I'm pretty sure the slush bar next door will be interested. If not, you our always hook up with Icy's bounty hunter.

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    1. The language of westerns is poetic, much more so than it's given credit for. I'm glad you liked it!

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  13. I wondered where this was going, and I couldn't guess. Splendid reveal.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  14. That was good! Well-written and a surprising twist.

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  15. Don't listen to them, cowboy. There's a bar out there for you somewhere. I'm nearly certain.

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    1. He'll just keep going until he finds it, that's all. ;-)

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  16. Clever story. :) Poor cowboy. It's true, I don't see many calls for cowboys these days...except maybe in Romance. It could be a new calling for you, Tony!

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    1. The only romances I could write would be the sad, forlorn kind where a broken man is saved by the love of a good woman. Lots of pain, emotional openness and wry banter, but not much sex.

      How much call would there be for something like that?

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  17. Really liked the hard boiled style of this piece. It jarred a bit for me when the vampires, etc were introduced but then I saw where you were going with it. However, I got to say that I think it would also work if you really were writing about a real cowboy, that is, a hero come back from the fight and nobody cares. Reckon there's more in that than making a comment about how nobody likes Westerns anymore. But either way, a great read.

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  18. Poor cowboy! Romance readers would snap him up.

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    1. He's a man who has interesting stories to tell, certainly. He learned to dance along the way, too.

      Romance? Hmmm...

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  19. Har Har.. This is very funny... I reckon you're having a little tease at the expense of a certain writer not too far from here in #fridayflash world.. I felt really sorry for him though and sorry too for all those out of favour characters and genres that float around in the wasteland of Writerland.

    Sorry for the delay in getting to you this week.. I'm having a shitty week!

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    1. ..for "float" read "wander" .. I know how they feel!

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