11. "You know, if you haven't gotten at least one solid best-seller by the time you're 30, you should probably face reality and give up."
10. "If you don't read at least three novels a week, you can't really know your own genre."
9. "You had to hire a professional editor? I guess you're not really very confident in your own skills, huh?"
8. "You're doing your own editing? I guess you don't really want to be published, do you?"
7. "Formatting for e.books is way, way harder than you might think. There's no way you're going to be able to do it right."
6. "Formatting for e.books is simple. Only suckers pay other people to do it."
5. "Agents are a holdover from an obsolete system. They don't do anything for you except put up roadblocks and take 15-20% of your money."
4. "Agents are essential. If you submit your manuscript to a publisher without using an agent, you go on that secret blacklist they have for smart-ass newbies. You'll never get published."
3. "What really sells is basically what's already in the marketplace, with only very slight variations. Don't try to be truly original until your fourth or fifth published book."
2. "Once you're published, your publisher, agent and fan base won't let you do anything different genre-wise, since they'll have a vested interest in you as a cash cow."
... and the very least helpful thing to tell a writer...
1. "I can't see how you can sleep at night. All those hours, all that time and heartache you've put into this thing, when the odds are that you'll never get dime one for it. How do you know you're not just wasting your life?"
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