THE AUNT AND THE SLUGGARD
by P. G. Wodehouse
... continued ...
Not that I cared about Ted; but if I hadn't dragged him in I couldn't
have got the confounded thing on to the second page.
Now here's old Rocky on exactly the same subject:
"DEAREST AUNT ISABEL,--How can I ever thank you enough for giving
me the opportunity to live in this astounding city! New York seems
more wonderful every day.
"Fifth Avenue is at its best, of course, just now. The dresses are
Wads of stuff about the dresses. I didn't know Jeeves was such an
"I was out with some of the crowd at the Midnight Revels the other
night. We took in a show first, after a little dinner at a new
place on Forty-third Street. We were quite a gay party. Georgie
Cohan looked in about midnight and got off a good one about Willie
Collier. Fred Stone could only stay a minute, but Doug. Fairbanks
did all sorts of stunts and made us roar. Diamond Jim Brady was
there, as usual, and Laurette Taylor showed up with a party. The
show at the Revels is quite good. I am enclosing a programme.
"Last night a few of us went round to Frolics on the Roof----"
And so on and so forth, yards of it. I suppose it's the artistic
temperament or something. What I mean is, it's easier for a chappie
who's used to writing poems and that sort of tosh to put a bit of a
punch into a letter than it is for a chappie like me. Anyway, there's
no doubt that Rocky's correspondence was hot stuff. I called Jeeves in
and congratulated him.
"Jeeves, you're a wonder!"
"Thank you, sir."
"How you notice everything at these places beats me. I couldn't tell
you a thing about them, except that I've had a good time."
"It's just a knack, sir."
"Well, Mr. Todd's letters ought to brace Miss Rockmetteller all right,
"Undoubtedly, sir," agreed Jeeves.
And, by Jove, they did! They certainly did, by George! What I mean to
say is, I was sitting in the apartment one afternoon, about a month
after the thing had started, smoking a cigarette and resting the old
bean, when the door opened and the voice of Jeeves burst the silence
like a bomb.
It wasn't that he spoke loud. He has one of those soft, soothing voices
that slide through the atmosphere like the note of a far-off sheep. It
was what he said made me leap like a young gazelle.
And in came a large, solid female.
... to be continued ...