Crowd [in ragged unison]: Hi, Tony.
Me: I've been writing for one day.
Crowd: [scattered applause]
Me: My, uh, my NaNoWriMo novel is titled "The Adventures of the Grammarian: Verbosity's Vengeance".
Crowd: [mixture of confused mutterings, several excited squeaks and a few moans of disappointed frustration]
Me: I was gonna do a different novel, but this one was just calling to me. It's based on a story I wrote that some people thought was pretty funny. So I thought I'd, y'know, stretch it out. To a novel. That's like, fifty times longer. [pauses] Oh Jesus, what am I doing? This is lunacy!
Crowd: [murmurs of agreement]
Me [sipping coffee and taking a deep breath]: Well, one way or another, I'll give it a shot. I wrote a synopsis:
Though fervently committed to the Cause of Clarity, the Grammarian isn't exactly on the A-list of superheroes. It irritates the heck out him that other heroes not only get all the glory, they also get a lot more dates. Sure, they can fly or throw freight trains around like matchsticks, but can they tangle up a criminal in his own mismatched verb tenses? However, his resolve is put to the ultimate test when a powerful new super-villain rises to threaten Lexicon City. Despite their superpowers, none of the city's heroes is able to stand against him. The only hope rests with the man who wrote (and edited) the book on heroics: the Grammarian!This isn't just going to be puns, wordplay and clever turns of phrase. It's got a character development arc, a confused but cute love interest, an ego competition angle, and a bunch of super-villains. It's also got an important underlying message that's topical and socially redeeming, and I think it would go over big with middle grade or young adult audiences.
Crowd: [mostly skeptical noises, with a few shouted words of encouragement, a few laughs of derision. One cry of "Hubris!"]
Me: Well, besides, I figure that if I can't pound out fifty thousand words with what I've got going on this story, then I should re-think this whole novel business.
Me: So, anyway. That's me.
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