#FridayFlash: The Alien

"See that guy? The one in the navy blazer?"

"With the green tie? Yeah. What about him?"

"I bet he's an alien."

"Don't be snarky."

"I'm serious. You see how he's sitting by himself, just eating? He's not even trying to network."

"And that makes him an alien?"

"Sure. Half the point of being here is making connections. It's like wasting the registration fee to not talk to people."

"Maybe he's shy."

"A grown man? Please. Besides, look at how he's eating. He just... eats. First he ate the salad, then the soup, and now he's working his way through the entree."

"How the hell should he eat it? By osmosis?"

"No, I mean he's like a machine. Fork, chew, swallow. Fork, chew, swallow. He doesn't look up, doesn't look around, doesn't talk to anybody, doesn't even try to make eye contact with anyone. It's like he's following a computer program, like he's a robot alien."

"Why are you so obsessed with that guy? Just ignore him."

"I still think he's an alien."

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  1. Ah, yes, people who float around the food at social gatherings -must- be aliens. It is so simple, I don't know why I didn't notice it before!
    I'd keep an eye out for this next time I'm at a party but I'm usually too busy eating..

  2. Um, were you watching me or something? Expect to be beamed up shortly for re-education.


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