tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post9049860611463843024..comments2024-03-08T15:14:31.312-05:00Comments on Landless: #FridayFlash: Grow, garden, growTony Nolandhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-8707855080911076852010-05-28T19:13:48.259-04:002010-05-28T19:13:48.259-04:00Ha! Great misunderstanding and descriptions of the...Ha! Great misunderstanding and descriptions of the carnage. I hope they don't plant those out in the open.<br /><br />CDCecilia Dominichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12799727636246434837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-31769677408731546182010-05-24T10:16:56.692-04:002010-05-24T10:16:56.692-04:00Loved your dialog and the setting you created. Yo...Loved your dialog and the setting you created. Your story flowed very well and the Pun worked as an ending.<br /> <br />Bravo.<br /> <br />-TimTimothy P. Remphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04422296532550497806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-41129989202348245732010-05-23T14:14:37.568-04:002010-05-23T14:14:37.568-04:00Thanks, everyone. I had the old Golden Age sci-fi ...Thanks, everyone. I had the old Golden Age sci-fi in mind as I was writing, so the over-precise definitions fit that mood. Just a feel, y'know?<br /><br />Muppets, attack!<br /><br />8-)Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-48894882977167997992010-05-22T11:00:39.819-04:002010-05-22T11:00:39.819-04:00I read this over breakfast in Melbourne and had a ...I read this over breakfast in Melbourne and had a small giggle to myself when I read about that blackmarket type botantist dude on Brisbane... I'll have to keep an eye out for him when I get hom ;)<br /><br />I loved the pun at the end... though I'm a bit slow I have to say and wondered if it was an actual word (you've answered that higher up). My first thought was Triffids x Little Shop of Horrors x Muppet Show... and rather than being carnivorous they were rampant growers which overtook the existing environment. And I guessed it was a Trojan Horse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-75778303331844982792010-05-21T23:04:11.323-04:002010-05-21T23:04:11.323-04:00Love the play on "predate." I like the o...Love the play on "predate." I like the overuse of jargon; it tells us about the society and the characters. Great story.David G Shrockhttp://www.dracotorre.com/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-63794214299070832902010-05-21T20:56:06.073-04:002010-05-21T20:56:06.073-04:00A Golden-Age SciFi throwback that ends in a pun? ...A Golden-Age SciFi throwback that ends in a pun? Somewhere Asimov is smiling down at you!<br /><br />I've read some of the comments about the dialogue, but I really enjoyed them. To me this is a throwback stories to the SciFi I read years ago. The old Grandmasters from the 30's through the 60's. It's just how many of the stories were written. So I think it fits becuase there's a nostalgic quality to it.<br /><br />Even down to the Professor who doesn't simply say, in a moment of crises that the plants "eat" or even "attack" people, but sticks with "Predates."<br /><br />I don't think you can have that ending in a guise as anything other than an Old-School SciFi type story.<br /><br />Well done!<br /><br />PS- My only nit is this sentence: "He reached up with he free arm to fend them off" I think you were looking for "his."D. Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00931977627241091039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-14355853608289423052010-05-21T19:31:49.431-04:002010-05-21T19:31:49.431-04:00Oh I love it! Firstly, because it makes me think o...Oh I love it! Firstly, because it makes me think of triffids (and they're just enough predatory plants in fiction these days) and secondly, because nothing beats a good pun!Icy Sedgwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11501193571425442406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-73989260995349906392010-05-21T19:28:16.150-04:002010-05-21T19:28:16.150-04:00I liked the pun - but thanks for defining it, I wa...I liked the pun - but thanks for defining it, I wasn't sure.<br /><br />This was a great story full of interesting details. I really appreciate watching you take on different genres - I mentioned it in the comments of my post today.<br /><br />Well-done!Anne Tyler Lordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16909141266966569378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-53165650956080914792010-05-21T18:54:05.148-04:002010-05-21T18:54:05.148-04:00Doh! Now I get it. I liked the description of the ...Doh! Now I get it. I liked the description of the plants doing their work of predation.Mark Kerstetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13307987573435067415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-33210187447988323322010-05-21T18:42:06.882-04:002010-05-21T18:42:06.882-04:00I'm so glad you all liked the wordplay punchli...I'm so glad you all liked the wordplay punchline!<br /><br />It does seem a bit visual, doesn't it, <b>dijeratic</b>? There are so many sci-fi trope threaded through this that any one of a hundred movies come to mind. I had to add the wordplay to make it fresh and new for the reader, so as to get thee to a punnery.<br /><br />Thanks, everyone!Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-54732092688663412352010-05-21T15:53:28.722-04:002010-05-21T15:53:28.722-04:00So much fun - and such a cinematic little ride, to...So much fun - and such a cinematic little ride, too. Could see this a short film (or part of a longer one). You've got a punny patois - loved it all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-76930595413884757952010-05-21T15:52:56.089-04:002010-05-21T15:52:56.089-04:00ROFLMAO!!! Predate, eat... why do scientists have...ROFLMAO!!! Predate, eat... why do scientists have to be so ostentatious?Okamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17102550169423011863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-67018350909619073282010-05-21T13:29:25.687-04:002010-05-21T13:29:25.687-04:00Great stuff, Tony. What would scifi be without cam...Great stuff, Tony. What would scifi be without camp? And the pun-aliciousness is great.<br /><br />Peace treaty, my hind end.<br /><br />Loved it. :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-79856740336052306072010-05-21T13:26:52.281-04:002010-05-21T13:26:52.281-04:00I was ok with the (3rd class) stuff, but when Soll...I was ok with the (3rd class) stuff, but when Solly says, "I was eavesdropping," it blew it for me. These are dopey characters - it sounds awkward to put "eavesdrop" in their mouths.<br />Otherwise, very funny.Christina Zhttp://www.textbroker.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-27161329536639051482010-05-21T13:04:56.955-04:002010-05-21T13:04:56.955-04:00All valuable suggestions apart, I love this story!...All valuable suggestions apart, I love this story!<br /><br />I'm with mazz. From the moment you mentioned it was an alien gift, for a peace treaty no less, I thought there were second intentions in there, heh. I was surprised to learn that the scientists knew it was carnivorous! <br /><br />Great title, by the way, and thank you for explaining the pun thing. I was a loss too. :)Marihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08570428969140414779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-35744755054859961412010-05-21T11:23:40.889-04:002010-05-21T11:23:40.889-04:00Thank you! I figured it was something to do with p...Thank you! I figured it was something to do with predator, but I've never heard of the word predate in that sense. Now I'm happy. :)Laura Enohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09982794146667832204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-13300005759218630152010-05-21T11:21:07.853-04:002010-05-21T11:21:07.853-04:00Great story, lovely descriptions of gore, and I la...Great story, lovely descriptions of gore, and I laughed so hard at the end my kids were asking "Mommy okay?" Thoroughly enjoyed this. TonyNo, strikes again!Monica Marierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03112762564137354581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-76499579447294829382010-05-21T11:18:15.145-04:002010-05-21T11:18:15.145-04:00Laura: "Predate" (pronounced preh-DATE, ...<b>Laura</b>: "Predate" (pronounced preh-DATE, vs. PREE-date) is a technical term used by field biologists and ecologists. It means, "to prey upon". It's usage isn't all that common in normal speech, hence poor Solly's misunderstanding.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-61960145416935226472010-05-21T11:01:31.956-04:002010-05-21T11:01:31.956-04:00I loved this story and the pacing! Now, would you ...I loved this story and the pacing! Now, would you please explain the pun at the end? I guess I'm slow...Laura Enohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09982794146667832204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-67057930130148952952010-05-21T10:45:02.027-04:002010-05-21T10:45:02.027-04:00Great dialogue! And here I thought you might be go...Great dialogue! And here I thought you might be going for the plants being an invasive foreign species or puppet masters or something. <br /><br />OMG the pun! My side hurts. lolCat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-68172256224271270552010-05-21T09:38:45.502-04:002010-05-21T09:38:45.502-04:00Triffids, ho!
John: I'll respond to your sugg...Triffids, ho!<br /><br /><b>John</b>: I'll respond to your suggestions in a moment, but first:<br /><br /><i>you came out with your genre swinging - a pregnant decision after recent blog posts and discussions (you go, homeboy!).</i><br /><br />Heh, I figured that if I'm going to be a genre-hopping freak, I'm gonna fly my freak flag high and proud. Screw it - this is who I am, this is what I write. Maybe a future publisher or agent might be able to point to angry fan letters or sales numbers or TV show syndication contracts and present an argument to me that carries more influence. Until then, no pay, no say.<br /><br />Re: suggestions - I appreciate the time it takes to give a close read and make detailed comments like this. No one, least of all you, John, wastes that kind of effort on a mediocre story, or on the kind of mediocre writer who wouldn't accept such observations as areas of potential improvement.<br /><br />In a revision, I think I'd keep the "gravitic drive technician" and "carbon tetrafluoride gas", perhaps revised to "GravTech" and "tetrafluoride" but ditch the full name of Kew. I gave the full job title of Tyr, so doing the same for Solly might be OK. As <b>judebram</b> noted, there's a certain kind of kitschy nature to this, especially after such a full-on Golden Age opening sentence.<br /><br />For the Kew Gardens, though, a guy like Solly really wouldn't know the full name. I was concerned that the reader might not either, so I spelled it out. Another instance of me not trusting the reader's powers of inference. Also, I went back and forth on making Absolutely, Positively Certain that the joke had been adequately set up, hence my final restatement of the "pre-date" bit. As <b>Sam</b> notes, I telegraphed the joke too much. Sorry, reader!<br /><br /><i>(Just Enough Power might be your best work; it's a heck of a standard)</i><br /><br />Thank you! I like that story a lot, and I'm really enjoying working in the noir voice. All that darkness and violence, laced through with black humor and brooding introspection. And guns. And knives. And spoons! Yum, yum!<br /><br />Dialogue and humor are so aural, really. You've got to read your lines or tell a joke at least five times before you get the rhythm of it. Everything starts out dissonant, and smoothing it out into funny takes a very light touch in the final passes. The grisly bits are a little easier for me to punch up (glad you liked it, <b>Carrie</b>!). I'll admit that I had to rush the editing on this one, but that's just an FYI, not an excuse.<br /><br />Regardless, I'm glad you liked it everyone!Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-48886650648600172462010-05-21T07:42:40.792-04:002010-05-21T07:42:40.792-04:00I really enjoyed this, a very well crafted piece o...I really enjoyed this, a very well crafted piece of sci-fi, one of my favourite genres. I have visions of Littel Shop of Horrors crossed with Triffids and a touch of Alien - lovely.<br /><br />I would however, consider cutting the last few words from this sentence as indicated:<br /><br /><i>"All I know is, the Professor told the exec to make sure nobody touched them, because they're unique <b>and they pre-date people.</b>"</i><br /><br />as this was where the penny dropped for me, and I could see what was coming. Just my two cents.Samhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00361651251233078437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-37742901919775475812010-05-21T07:20:13.865-04:002010-05-21T07:20:13.865-04:00I thought the jargon was fine. It went a long way ...I thought the jargon was fine. It went a long way to set the mood. Loved the twist, the pun as it were and thanks for a great read.Thom Gabrukiewiczhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13286670695334830471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-12678774228346313422010-05-21T06:28:07.646-04:002010-05-21T06:28:07.646-04:00lol, great punnery
Surely the aliens have a ulter...lol, great punnery<br /><br />Surely the aliens have a ulterior motive in giving these plants to humans...mazzz in Leedshttp://mazzz-in-leeds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-11172630997397234142010-05-21T04:37:51.933-04:002010-05-21T04:37:51.933-04:00Love it.
Re the critiques... if one approaches th...Love it. <br />Re the critiques... if one approaches the dialogue and jargon from the point of view of it being a pastiche (a la Austin Powers) it takes on a whole new technicolor dimension. 'B' movies and sci fi are meant to be slightly kitsch, no?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11977408453297130224noreply@blogger.com