Comments on Landless: #FridayFlash: Reconciliation

Well fuck me that was one hell of a tale!

2010-02-03T14:46:51.208-05:00

Well fuck me that was one hell of a tale!

I was enjoying this story well enough, but when I ...

2010-02-03T12:49:03.484-05:00

I was enjoying this story well enough, but when I got to the last line, it really made me smile. Excellent job!

Hey everyone, thanks for the reads and the great c...

2010-02-02T12:56:52.892-05:00

Hey everyone, thanks for the reads and the great comments this week. The response to this has made me reconsider an extended gangster story I've been kicking around for a while.

The encouragement is terrific!

I was going to say that I thought the dialogue was...

2010-02-02T11:33:05.051-05:00

I was going to say that I thought the dialogue was fantastic and totally believable, but the twist at the end (assuming we can take Lucifer's name literally) made this a fantastic piece!

The whole diner setting—then the mob dialogue—I go...

2010-01-31T22:38:54.481-05:00

The whole diner setting—then the mob dialogue—I got it all. The last line...it was a total headslap. Nice. Thanks.

I liked this, but i'm sort of surprised that the f...

2010-01-30T16:11:22.862-05:00

I liked this, but i'm sort of surprised that the fat man even agreed to see the thin man ... if somebody had seen them together the boss might not be so forgiving ... the dialogue is very good, though - well done!

Ha! That was awesome!

2010-01-30T11:31:17.303-05:00

Ha! That was awesome!

Oh I liked this. It was reminding me of The Godfat...

2010-01-30T10:24:09.674-05:00

Oh I liked this. It was reminding me of The Godfather (Freddie & Mikey) and then on the second read I got it. I love that his hell is not having a cigarette after eating!

Interesting idea, I loved the ending brush-off sen...

2010-01-30T06:15:33.543-05:00

Interesting idea, I loved the ending brush-off sentence:
"You made your own hell, Lucifer, now you can fuckin' well burn in it. Don't call me again."

Ha! Great twist! Excellent as always. CD

2010-01-29T21:37:33.277-05:00

Ha! Great twist! Excellent as always.

CD

Fantastic dialogue Tony, just great! Give us more ...

2010-01-29T20:09:16.961-05:00

Fantastic dialogue Tony, just great! Give us more like this, won't you?

You know, it's lucky you live on the other side of...

2010-01-29T16:50:00.298-05:00

You know, it's lucky you live on the other side of the world, because after reading this, I'd be very tempted to have a passionate affair with you. Damn it, man, that was sooo good!

Lots of people got the "no smoking" reference; som...

2010-01-29T16:21:51.207-05:00

Lots of people got the "no smoking" reference; sometimes, I put stuff in just to amuse myself. I'm glad you guys saw the humor in it, too.

Sometimes, jokes are only funny the second time through...

8-)

This was written before the op, so no meds can be credited here. As it happens, the meds are messing me up a bit, so next week's might be pretty loopy.

Loved the dialogue! And, that was a great twist at...

2010-01-29T16:20:15.990-05:00

Loved the dialogue! And, that was a great twist at the end! Very clever way to write gansta!

Hope you feel better soon!

Whatever's in those meds of yours... great stuff. ...

2010-01-29T13:25:50.001-05:00

Whatever's in those meds of yours... great stuff. Dialogue spot on, and loved the Lucifer twist. The no smoking reference -- priceless. Peace, Linda

Nice reveal! Spitting in the coffee was a nice tou...

2010-01-29T12:51:35.697-05:00

Nice reveal! Spitting in the coffee was a nice touch. :)

Ps apologies for the URL posted in the middle of t...

2010-01-29T12:34:57.145-05:00

Ps apologies for the URL posted in the middle of the previous comment, my iPhone seems to have a life of it's own!

Love the twist in the final sentence - from the st...

2010-01-29T12:32:45.813-05:00

Love the twist in the final sentence - from the start it http://bit.ly/aKL0t5clear there was going to be an exciting dénouement, but didn't see that one coming! Enjoyed reading it for a second time and picking up clues that I'd missed initially - liked the no smoking reference in particular!

The story really started about half-way for me, ri...

2010-01-29T12:18:07.859-05:00

The story really started about half-way for me, right at "cut it" initially thought fat man/thin man dialogue would reveal something more through narrator but ended up distracting me more as opposed to revealing more about these characters. Your dialogue is always spot on as it is here, there seems to be a bit more frame than picture in this one than I'm used to from your work.

I adore stories like this, different takes on fami...

2010-01-29T12:06:58.422-05:00

I adore stories like this, different takes on familiar religion stories. This is a great addition to the genre. The fat man's dialog was especially fantastic. Very well done!

Didn't see this one coming. (^v^)

2010-01-29T12:01:16.813-05:00

Didn't see this one coming. (^v^)

Good job. You have a nice flow to your writing. Th...

2010-01-29T11:48:55.597-05:00

Good job. You have a nice flow to your writing. The dialogue was perfect between the two gangsters.

Language was perfect - I like the idea of angels c...

2010-01-29T10:35:18.952-05:00

Language was perfect - I like the idea of angels cussing over breakfast. Fallen or no. :)
Great read and smooth flow!

Biblical, Tony! A proper read twice and laugh alou...

2010-01-29T10:02:09.018-05:00

Biblical, Tony! A proper read twice and laugh aloud at the bits you missed story. Very well done! Was this one formed under anaesthetic? Did you see the white lights...?

Great stuff, Tony. Very nicely paced. If anything,...

2010-01-29T09:21:25.265-05:00

Great stuff, Tony. Very nicely paced. If anything, you could have had even more swearing.