tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post711198559388066494..comments2024-03-08T15:14:31.312-05:00Comments on Landless: #FridayFlash: A Double Month of Dust in Whiskey GulchTony Nolandhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-64064372724108340722011-09-21T21:52:53.475-04:002011-09-21T21:52:53.475-04:00Amazing. Excellent use of dialogue and diction to ...Amazing. Excellent use of dialogue and diction to set the tone, and just the right amount of mystery at the end. Loved it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-19517683604010346292011-08-21T20:57:05.612-04:002011-08-21T20:57:05.612-04:00Great tension throughout this! I want more though!...Great tension throughout this! I want more though! Are you going to write a sequel?Cat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-59302887216935504322010-10-13T07:56:22.156-04:002010-10-13T07:56:22.156-04:00That was GREAT!! I just loved the tension in this,...That was GREAT!! I just loved the tension in this, Tony. The last sentence was eerie and foreboding and just yummy.Cathy Olliffe-Websterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12729578896443750402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-46968168330738344202010-10-12T15:01:57.411-04:002010-10-12T15:01:57.411-04:00To be honest, guys, I don't know what the stra...To be honest, guys, I don't know what the stranger wants as payment. I never got that specific when I was picturing it.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-47605576572975963622010-10-12T07:25:59.426-04:002010-10-12T07:25:59.426-04:00very cool stuff! Excellent scene setting. I would ...very cool stuff! Excellent scene setting. I would have liked a bit more of a hint as to the nature of the volunteering though :-)mazzz in leedshttp://mazzz-in-leeds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-83229227804603966922010-10-10T22:58:22.197-04:002010-10-10T22:58:22.197-04:00I like the ending, the supernatural feel of it. I ...I like the ending, the supernatural feel of it. I guess the stranger picked his two or three... eh, volunteers. Some genres, westerns among them, are ripe for mixing. The end result is a pleasant cocktail. Good read.Stephenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04753736809917062955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-33783450036665445282010-10-10T18:19:07.324-04:002010-10-10T18:19:07.324-04:00Very entertaining yarn. It was nice of him to ask ...Very entertaining yarn. It was nice of him to ask for volunteers even though some would pay the price either way. The Matteson character really came alive (before he died?)Mark Kerstetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13307987573435067415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-83864299861280421492010-10-10T17:39:42.643-04:002010-10-10T17:39:42.643-04:00I liked this alot. The mysterious stranger. I like...I liked this alot. The mysterious stranger. I like that you kept his price and reason for needing volunteers a mystery too.Harryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09628269009060185397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-21336317789323722182010-10-10T16:20:39.040-04:002010-10-10T16:20:39.040-04:00Love the story and great dialogue! The final line ...Love the story and great dialogue! The final line is fantastic and the mystery price certainly asks for a sequel. <br /><br />I'm guessing the stranger is the devil, and his price is a willing sacrifice. Since no one volunteered, he'll chose who'll die/serve him/become something. I'm curious! heh<br /><br />Since you usually appreciate feedback, I thought I'd share some impressions. I hope you won't mind. <br /><br />I'd suggest you tighten up the 2nd paragraph a bit. It seems that you dedicated too much space to showing that he came in mostly unnoticed. You could have reached the same result with a sentence or two. <br /><br />Matterson's face turned red twice, on the 21th paragraph and on the 23th, and you don't show him going back to his natural color in between. It felt a bit awkward for me. But then, it could be just me. ;)Marihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07303695124956391293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-86084668994542211552010-10-10T10:08:43.934-04:002010-10-10T10:08:43.934-04:00Great story, really enjoyed it, and I liked the wa...Great story, really enjoyed it, and I liked the way you left it open for us to guess what the price of rain is.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-83955458529856681412010-10-09T18:02:20.341-04:002010-10-09T18:02:20.341-04:00This is my favorite tone of yours in a while. Yes,...This is my favorite tone of yours in a while. Yes, it does draw on Western tropes, but the attitude is in both narration and dialogue (like the "Well, goddamn, you must be some kinda fortune teller, son" response to whiskey). Besides, I like Westerns. Want to go see True Grit with me?John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-53892962362671116142010-10-09T12:01:31.903-04:002010-10-09T12:01:31.903-04:00Nice job, Tony. I grew up watching Westerns and as...Nice job, Tony. I grew up watching Westerns and as a New Mexico native I know more about Billy the Kid than is quite necessary. I enjoyed the read and I love that you don't tell us the price. The whisper and the reaction of Long Bill is more exciting than actually giving us the answer.Danielle La Pagliahttp://www.daniellelapaglia.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-55076014362852862822010-10-09T07:30:04.751-04:002010-10-09T07:30:04.751-04:00A great piece of writing.
I loved the sarcastic c...A great piece of writing.<br /><br />I loved the sarcastic comments from the Matteson character.Steve Greenhttp://greenstephenj.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-54789507089867804132010-10-09T05:42:29.012-04:002010-10-09T05:42:29.012-04:00LOVE Westerns. Stories all the more. Thank you for...LOVE Westerns. Stories all the more. Thank you for this gift Tony. It was two minutes worth spending on something so fine.Carrie Clevengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05093923008179106837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-4966244046954160252010-10-09T01:03:54.925-04:002010-10-09T01:03:54.925-04:00I'm always a sucker for a western tale of terr...I'm always a sucker for a western tale of terror, Tony...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11413377601369107260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-23444769750883825752010-10-08T18:12:52.901-04:002010-10-08T18:12:52.901-04:00Another classic from you Tony. You may not have do...Another classic from you Tony. You may not have done the genre before, but you've got atmosphere to a T every time you attempt one.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12766213009757900187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-83295734131906881092010-10-08T16:30:01.392-04:002010-10-08T16:30:01.392-04:00Oh, you simply cannot let this end. It's too g...Oh, you simply cannot let this end. It's too good. I want to know what the price is!Cat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-74231301587469271122010-10-08T16:17:03.802-04:002010-10-08T16:17:03.802-04:00I'm glad this working, guys. In my first foray...I'm glad this working, guys. In my first foray into a genre, I worry about how clumsy I am with it.<br /><br />Dusty saloon, stranger walking into a bar, blowhard rancher... did I miss any tropes with this?<br /><br />Oh, the disillusioned sheriff and the hooker with a heart of gold. maybe for the sequel.<br /><br />8-)Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-29180498678830361782010-10-08T16:13:07.249-04:002010-10-08T16:13:07.249-04:00Glad you kept this title. I kept waiting for the o...Glad you kept this title. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, and boy did it ever. Reminds me of the Gunslinger series, too. Nice work.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14148970927473800732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-84329080883167591722010-10-08T16:06:16.096-04:002010-10-08T16:06:16.096-04:00Not only is that one of the best titles ever, but ...Not only is that one of the best titles ever, but you have nailed the atmosphere here Tony, as well as the characters, voice, all of it. You need to do western more often!<br /><br />Love this line: "Silence filled the still air, and stretched on like a scream."Deanna Schrayerhttp://theothersideofdeanna.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-14722765779624706482010-10-08T16:04:59.658-04:002010-10-08T16:04:59.658-04:00I love a good saloon story and this didn't dis...I love a good saloon story and this didn't disappoint. The stranger and the price he demanded left me guessing. I agree with Eric, entertaining. I think this could be a longer story as well.Genevieve Jackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16178276724159826428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-58392463014927698472010-10-08T15:02:40.824-04:002010-10-08T15:02:40.824-04:00You did a good job on the western feel of this, an...You did a good job on the western feel of this, and I appreciated the subtle supernatural context. This was an entertaining read from start to finish.Eric J. Krausehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05774468607814244185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-2045410297061378082010-10-08T12:30:39.036-04:002010-10-08T12:30:39.036-04:00The old mysterious stranger walks into a bar story...The old mysterious stranger walks into a bar story, eh? Very well done. I was thinking Burt Lancaster in Elmer Gantry, but this stranger is a lot more scary. Good job, Tony!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08236529774839136879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-28410603934336206532010-10-08T12:00:33.271-04:002010-10-08T12:00:33.271-04:00Thanks, everyone. As I said on Twitter and elsewhe...Thanks, everyone. As I said on Twitter and elsewhere, I basically never write westerns, so even coming close is a win.<br /><br />As it happens, I've never read Stephen King's Gunslinger series. If this little effort of mine puts you in mind of his work, I'll count that as a double win.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-47554308783637798822010-10-08T07:58:05.320-04:002010-10-08T07:58:05.320-04:00This was a great cinematic read; the descriptions ...This was a great cinematic read; the descriptions were spot on and the onomatopoeia of the run was perfect.<br />Adam B #revhappinessAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com