tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post6940624067074857511..comments2024-03-08T15:14:31.312-05:00Comments on Landless: #FridayFlash: Spikes HighTony Nolandhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-37110574648158001112010-11-03T12:20:39.961-04:002010-11-03T12:20:39.961-04:00Powerful writing Tony. It works really well. And I...Powerful writing Tony. It works really well. And I am not a fan of soccer at all!Rebecca Eminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01931904595437049369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-17208959272396410622010-11-02T15:31:45.199-04:002010-11-02T15:31:45.199-04:00Having been to many a soccer game, I can attest to...Having been to many a soccer game, I can attest to much of what happened in the story. Very realistic. Sometimes one moment of payback goes further than anyone intended. Nice job, Tony.Danielle La Pagliahttp://www.daniellelapaglia.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-88680804303786618902010-11-02T10:33:30.348-04:002010-11-02T10:33:30.348-04:00I was eagerly awaiting # 21's comeuppence. Don...I was eagerly awaiting # 21's comeuppence. Don't we all like that sort of vicarious justice? I was not expecting the sudden turn and it struck me just as it might had I done something impulsive and stupid and was left with the consequences. I think your "experiment" was a success!Harryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09628269009060185397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-53846321518536048392010-11-02T01:35:22.959-04:002010-11-02T01:35:22.959-04:00The abrupt change worked and wow, what an ending.....The abrupt change worked and wow, what an ending...<br /><br />I glad with the fact that I was never a sportsman...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11413377601369107260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-18289626988765732682010-10-31T01:23:36.014-04:002010-10-31T01:23:36.014-04:00Great story Tony. Contact sport all right. A feeli...Great story Tony. Contact sport all right. A feeling of helplessness at the end.<br /><br /><a rel="nofollow">Flashquake</a>Denise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-6807702299562663112010-10-30T15:30:17.499-04:002010-10-30T15:30:17.499-04:00Thank you Tiffany, Johanna & Cathyrn, I'm ...Thank you Tiffany, Johanna & Cathyrn, I'm glad you liked it!<br /><br />Galen, now that you mention that, I seem to recall seeing ambulance on duty at games. I'd have to revise this to say the coaches gestured to the paramedics, and they were the ones to call in the life-flight helicopter.<br /><br />As for your gracious comparison of my little scribbling to Updike... well, I'm at a loss. Thank you.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-34168447019310011342010-10-30T06:01:19.998-04:002010-10-30T06:01:19.998-04:00Tony: Riveting read. I clearly noticed the change ...Tony: Riveting read. I clearly noticed the change in tone and, what's more, empathy in the narrator's voice once it became clear #21 wasn't hopping up. Well orchestrated on your part.<br /><br />One technical bit that distracted me: what I understand from my sports-trainer friends (who cover these games), any level above primary school requires an ambulance on hand at every game. The paramedics would have been at #21's side within a few seconds.<br /><br />However, using the stages of medical care as stages of Kent's awareness was a useful device. <br /><br />In the end, the "looking like nothing so much as the cloud of moths that swarmed the field lights, dipping, swooping, circling, as though to find life-giving heat in the cold October night" reminded me of the immediacy of John Updike's "In Football Season" which is pretty much the highest praise I can bestow, as that's forever my favorite short story. :DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-29832279652657286102010-10-29T22:37:24.272-04:002010-10-29T22:37:24.272-04:00Scary indeed. A case of retaliation gone too far.Scary indeed. A case of retaliation gone too far.CathrynLouishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06380932922178601607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-58406266527599709942010-10-29T22:13:38.942-04:002010-10-29T22:13:38.942-04:00Great detail here! I always enjoy your #fridayfla...Great detail here! I always enjoy your #fridayflash. Thank you.Johanna Harnesshttp://www.clairemorgane.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-59533957183075883282010-10-29T21:12:45.839-04:002010-10-29T21:12:45.839-04:00Great job on the suspense. Its exactly like that o...Great job on the suspense. Its exactly like that on the field when you can't see what is going on. But wow what a shocker ending. Couldn't wait to find out what had happened. Love your writing.Tiffanynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-51859033546003723932010-10-29T16:57:41.106-04:002010-10-29T16:57:41.106-04:00Thanks for the great comments, everyone. Some peop...Thanks for the great comments, everyone. Some people did vampires or ghosts for Halloween... I went for a more bone-deep kind of scare.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-50944385570116854242010-10-29T16:09:30.738-04:002010-10-29T16:09:30.738-04:00Gah! I was all for Kent exacting his revenge on th...Gah! I was all for Kent exacting his revenge on that guy. American Football's a contact sport and a very physical game, after all. Besides, if you dish it out, you should be prepared to take it. <br /><br />But then...that switch when the Ref and the coaches take over and we no longer know what Kent is thinking and the atmosphere changes is masterful. You realise that something has gone horribly wrong, very fast. And you feel as if it's all rushing and swirling around you - like it probably is for Kent on the pitch - and there's nothing you can do to take it back or put it right. Wow! Great job Tony.Kathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12719765628886270649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-55668493224952316572010-10-29T14:19:43.171-04:002010-10-29T14:19:43.171-04:00vicious and a very abrupt change of emotion..very ...vicious and a very abrupt change of emotion..very tight tonyMichael Solenderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01120045114297450520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-13285741462289464112010-10-29T11:53:42.065-04:002010-10-29T11:53:42.065-04:00The action (something I have problems writing) is ...The action (something I have problems writing) is well done. I know nothing about soccer, but I was never confused.<br /><br />This is why I play a non-contact sport like ultimate frisbee. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-83952061111457571602010-10-29T10:45:09.996-04:002010-10-29T10:45:09.996-04:00How quickly anger can get away from us, and simple...How quickly anger can get away from us, and simple strike of revenge can become something more devastating. Well captured, Tony!Jaxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194706618184875916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-15145183779028779392010-10-29T08:20:58.411-04:002010-10-29T08:20:58.411-04:00I noticed the change in tone and observation after...I noticed the change in tone and observation after the ref ran past. I think it worked really well. It showed Kent's disbelief, maybe even shock at how quickly things changed. You know the action happening behind him is frantic and fast paced, but it all seemes to take place in slow motion. Well done.Lauritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03688820247531607677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-23148438879440420712010-10-29T08:01:22.727-04:002010-10-29T08:01:22.727-04:00Don't like to read anything sports-related but...Don't like to read anything sports-related but this was riveting!<br /><br />Dumb lug deserved it. Ahem. I mean, tragic how one misstep can balloon into tragedy.Marisa Birnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17945909737147497606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-32047100449581382702010-10-29T07:35:38.671-04:002010-10-29T07:35:38.671-04:00Thanks for reading and commenting, everyone. I did...Thanks for reading and commenting, everyone. I did a lot of back and forth on this one. At one point, I had a VERY different ending, which I pulled.<br /><br />In many ways, this is almost straight reportage after the hit. You hear all of Kent's thoughts before that, but once the ref runs past Kent, you're out of his head almost entirely. Whatever emotional state he's in, and whatever emotion it delivers to the reader, has to come from the dispassionate observations of the actions unfolding.<br /><br />Needless to say, this was a bit of an experiment.<br /><br />Oh, and I know practically nothing about soccer, so if I've made mistakes in terminology, etc., all I can say is, "poetic license".Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-8349526212155803142010-10-29T07:34:16.622-04:002010-10-29T07:34:16.622-04:00I like how the whole story crawls to a halt right ...I like how the whole story crawls to a halt right there at the end, it's almost like the dramatic slow-mo, when something like this happens. A very controlled slowing down, which had the desired effect.Harry Markovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09140305922494369576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-90632539239262836722010-10-29T06:45:21.519-04:002010-10-29T06:45:21.519-04:00And this is why they call it a "contact sport...And this is why they call it a "contact sport." I had enough trouble playing lacrosse when I was kid. That was a rough game too. Excellent story Tony. You really brought me as the reader into the story and made me see through these people's eyes. Quite a riveting read.Rachel Blackbirdsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02246966713076881105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-43363016565233669082010-10-29T03:12:48.771-04:002010-10-29T03:12:48.771-04:00And like in the movie "Rollerball" the l...And like in the movie "Rollerball" the light on the scoreboard went out against Number 21 for the Away team... <br /><br />I once waited 3 years to get someone back on the football filed. He of course didn't know why I had 'randomly' launched myself on him and looked up at me from the ground raging. I put on my best psycho mask as if to say you don't wanna mess with me and sure enough he let it go. And he missed the penalty too when he got up. Sweet. Like your protagonist I waited until the game was well lost before deciding to square my own personal score.<br /><br />American jargon for football (soccer) is so different from ours as to almost make it a different sounding sport. Still, at least you still call them referees and not umpires!<br /><br />Marc NashSulci Collectivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03293833259808943096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-87769466746899706982010-10-29T02:32:05.252-04:002010-10-29T02:32:05.252-04:00Man, this is really complex. I mean on the one han...Man, this is really complex. I mean on the one hand, live by the sword, die by the sword. On the other hand, Kent just hosed his future. Revenge is an unpredictable beast.Pamila Paynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14398900249578356483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-58528270111477361712010-10-29T00:31:39.500-04:002010-10-29T00:31:39.500-04:00How life changes with just the simplest of retalia...How life changes with just the simplest of retaliations. This is why I reprimanded my kids for fighting, even if the other guy hit first.<br /><br />You captured a parent's fear.pegjethttp://pegjet.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-42493300413254267702010-10-28T23:56:19.495-04:002010-10-28T23:56:19.495-04:00Wow, I never knew soccer could be so dangerous. Th...Wow, I never knew soccer could be so dangerous. This is why revenge is not a good thing. Excellent story!Eric J. Krausehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05774468607814244185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7797188666559531190.post-25930848761828302022010-10-28T22:59:10.366-04:002010-10-28T22:59:10.366-04:00I love the ending. Really gave off the disconcert...I love the ending. Really gave off the disconcerted helpless feeling.Raven Corinn Carlukhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06014248975870886289noreply@blogger.com