Comments on Landless: FridayFlash: Cutting

Great peice. Didn't see it coming.

2009-11-09T19:41:57.985-05:00

Great peice. Didn't see it coming.

Oh, good grief. That was well done. Parents in den...

2009-11-07T21:02:32.295-05:00

Oh, good grief. That was well done. Parents in denial about their child, but the father in denial, himself, about what he's doing - and how it might at all relate to his daughter.

What a complex little tale, told so simply.

Very, very well done.

Horribly accurate portrayal.

2009-11-07T20:27:09.840-05:00

Horribly accurate portrayal.

Sorry I'm just now following up--just saw your...

2009-11-07T20:23:32.986-05:00

Sorry I'm just now following up--just saw your response. I agree with Linda-from what I know it does seem to work that way--the relief. I also know people who've cut themselves to FEEL because they felt so numb emotionally--but this also seems to bring relief (albeit for different reasons). I don't know a lot about this (I'm in religion ;), just what I've read in memoirs or from people I've known. I'm just interested in it...and I'm interested in what the act means symbolically...(pure speculation of course). Thanks for the good wishes for the dissertation! I need all the good energy I can get. :) Oh--I do like it as a standalone piece, but definitely think there's potential for more story...

Very nice flash, Tony. it's broaching tough t...

2009-11-07T16:49:08.125-05:00

Very nice flash, Tony. it's broaching tough topics like this that are the real challenge in writing. i'm finding it w/ my nano novel as well. you dealt with this difficult topic in a very realistic way - well done.

You did a great job of building up suspense and sh...

2009-11-07T10:00:15.770-05:00

You did a great job of building up suspense and showing parents in deep denial. Great story and I really enjoyed your writing. Thanks for sharing it.

Ha, kids always pick up on what we do, not what we...

2009-11-06T21:39:22.800-05:00

Ha, kids always pick up on what we do, not what we say. How does it go? "Your actions are so loud I can't hear what you are saying."

I also wondered what the mother was doing in the restroom. The ending was great.

Oh, and what is this story about? Pain. And to con...

2009-11-06T20:48:51.552-05:00

Oh, and what is this story about? Pain. And to control it. Or not.

Peace, Linda

Tony, this is absolutely one of your best (and the...

2009-11-06T20:46:59.791-05:00

Tony, this is absolutely one of your best (and they're all 'best'). Having Paul be the parental 'cutter' was a fabulous and unexpected twist. And yep, you got the pain right, and the denial. Spot on. Peace, Linda

I see parents that don't see themselves in the...

2009-11-06T17:59:06.628-05:00

I see parents that don't see themselves in their child. Of course things are hereditary, or even learned from example.

Good story. Nice depth to it. Like a proper sandwich.

D.Paul and Meg: You raise an interesting qu...

2009-11-06T16:33:49.911-05:00

D.Paul and Meg: You raise an interesting question... does the mother know? Or is she turning a blind eye, being willfully obtuse to avoid confronting it? Even worse, as Chris suggests, does she have the same disorder? Would confronting someone else mean having to face up to your own problems?

How is it possible that the parents could be unaware of what's going on? Unfortunately, it's no fiction that people delude themselves all the time.

What is this story about, anyway? It's not about cutting. It's about blindness and self-deception. It's about weakness and addiction. It's about... hell, you guys know what it's about. Every one of you does.

For you and your family it may not be cutting. It may be drugs or alcohol or domestic violence or video game addiction or shoplifting or some other form of self-destructive behavior.

What is this story really about, anyway?

Brilliant! Parents often have no idea of the exten...

2009-11-06T14:58:33.479-05:00

Brilliant! Parents often have no idea of the extent of their influence.

As a mother with a young daughter (and having once...

2009-11-06T14:42:42.630-05:00

As a mother with a young daughter (and having once been a young daughter), the fear is not "ever present" but your story highlights what could be. I'm thinking of other things that I say and do which I would worry if my daughter were struggling with on her own behalf.

I agree with D.Paul in that the mother would know very well the father's habit and turn a blind eye. If they've been together a long time, this would not be invisible to her. This tack might show her up to be weak or could lead to a further development of confrontation - who knows?

Good short story. Deserves more attention.

I really wasn't sure where this was going. . ....

2009-11-06T14:37:08.237-05:00

I really wasn't sure where this was going. . .but wow, once again Tony, you have my jaw dropped over a perfect, heart-grabbing story.

Well done.

Jim
http://tinyurl.com/yjgov4l

Another brief thought for the Mom... Maybe have he...

2009-11-06T14:26:45.470-05:00

Another brief thought for the Mom... Maybe have her watch her husband pull out his keys and then look away? Be in denial about both?

this is so very spot on in many ways..people just ...

2009-11-06T13:54:57.868-05:00

this is so very spot on in many ways..people just don't want it to be so..they look the other way especially with children, hopefully someone spots these instances and acts..a well crafted tale that should be heeded for the lesson within..

Close to home, indeed. The only thing I would off...

2009-11-06T12:50:24.934-05:00

Close to home, indeed. The only thing I would offer is that the Dad's sense of "not being able to think straight" is better described along the lines of racing thoughts. Images thoughts, raw emotions, fear, danger, horrible visions of his daughter, catastrophizing the situation, all those things come crashing down in an uncontrolable fusillade.

THe pain from the cutting brings that control back, brings order from the chaos, and relieves the emotional pain through the physical. Yeah, I'm rambling, I read it last night and had to walk away. Which, of course, means you did your job regardless of the minutae of details I can offer.

I thought, at first blush, that it was somewhat making light with cutting, something I know far more about than I would ahve ever wished, but I see that it is really the mechanism through which parental hypocrisy comes to light. Our children's problems do not simply exist ina vacuum, and they speak as much of us as parents as they do of the children.

Well done.

Like father, like daughter, eh? Great story. I won...

2009-11-06T12:18:48.028-05:00

Like father, like daughter, eh? Great story. I wonder if they'll ever figure out the solution when it's right in front of their eyes, if under the surface a tad bit.

Deanna: I wish all the best for your step-d...

2009-11-06T10:06:34.320-05:00

Deanna: I wish all the best for your step-daughter. I won't go into it all, but I knew a girl once who had some issues, and what's described here is just the merest taste of what this disorder can do.

From a writer standpoint, I'm glad I got it right. From a personal standpoint, I hope this wasn't too painful a thing to read.

Tony, I'm not ashamed to admit it - this hits ...

2009-11-06T09:53:08.839-05:00

Tony, I'm not ashamed to admit it - this hits so close to home my mouth is hanging open. My step-daughter went through this very thing in her teenage years; indeed, now in her early 20s she's still having problems. I won't invade as it's a long story, but you are spot-on throughout.

Chris: Excellent! That's just what I wo...

2009-11-06T09:50:13.829-05:00

Chris: Excellent! That's just what I wondered.

Melissa: So it sounds like I got it right? Or at least accurately?

I wrote this as a standalone flash piece; I hadn't intended to continue this or make it part of anything larger. You never know, though...

Good luck with the dissertation!

I wonder if the mother is in the bathroom inflicti...

2009-11-06T09:27:49.972-05:00

I wonder if the mother is in the bathroom inflicting a little pain herself. Interesting subject and well handled.
~chris

I was done with my reading break (back to work!) w...

2009-11-06T09:23:57.506-05:00

I was done with my reading break (back to work!) when I saw the title of your #fridayflash and had to read it NOW. I read the memoirs of those who have bipolar disorder for my dissertation. One of the memoirs is written by a woman with a predilection for cutting (she was also had bulimia and anorexia--bulimia, then anorexia). And I'm familiar with it from other contexts. Love the description at the end of the relief the father feels with the pain. (And love that this was an unexpected turn!) Is this part of a larger piece? Or will it be? I'd like to see this play out.

Great story, well told! Love Amanda's last na...

2009-11-06T09:16:23.028-05:00

Great story, well told!

Love Amanda's last name, with its ancien régime flavor.

Scary that he doesn't consciously see it in hi...

2009-11-06T09:13:31.116-05:00

Scary that he doesn't consciously see it in himself.